Tuesday
I always get tired of reading old blogs..... and cant delete them.....
http://daysdaysdayzdazedazed.blogspot.com/ from now onward.. i think.
moonshinner
I frequently dream about people, Certain people in particular.
I wake up and feel like a creep.
Forgot how much loved bob dylan, I really have nothing to say these days.
I wake up and feel like a creep.
Forgot how much loved bob dylan, I really have nothing to say these days.
Monday
What's the matter
the downward spiral.
The rain woke me up that day, i remember because as soon as i rolled over and saw it i nailed a fleace blanket to my window. Drag myself back to bed and sleep the rest of the day. I must have slept more hours then awake at that time. Not that you could tell by the dark circles under my eyes and the ammount of whieght i shed. Job? What's a job. Friends? I forget what they look like. Romance?! HAH. I slipped again.. So it would seem. The air is getting thin. This is how you feel when you want things that are impossible. Like to live in the rain forest, or to float in space for an hour or so. I need to switch brains with someone.
The rain woke me up that day, i remember because as soon as i rolled over and saw it i nailed a fleace blanket to my window. Drag myself back to bed and sleep the rest of the day. I must have slept more hours then awake at that time. Not that you could tell by the dark circles under my eyes and the ammount of whieght i shed. Job? What's a job. Friends? I forget what they look like. Romance?! HAH. I slipped again.. So it would seem. The air is getting thin. This is how you feel when you want things that are impossible. Like to live in the rain forest, or to float in space for an hour or so. I need to switch brains with someone.
Haven't Slept In Weeks, Your The Only Thing I See.
I cried and cried and cried and you never answered. One am, Got in his car and watched the street lights fade behind us. I always get these winter blues, and my thoughts get confused and i sleep all the time and i forget how to be social more then once a week and i think everyone gets like that.
I think my favorite thing about living at home again is being around my mom, all the time. My least favorite is being so far south, and the trek to work every morning in -40 weather.
My step dad also gives good advice, but in different way. Both are needed.
Iiii spun out so faaaar, you stop i start.
I think my favorite thing about living at home again is being around my mom, all the time. My least favorite is being so far south, and the trek to work every morning in -40 weather.
My step dad also gives good advice, but in different way. Both are needed.
Iiii spun out so faaaar, you stop i start.
Sunday
DID YOU KNOW YOU MISSED MY BIRTHDAYYY
It's just emotinally and mentally draining to think about anything these days. Work is burning me out faster then i would like to admit, Im 20 today and not who i wanted to be at 20. But it's only 20 riiiight?! I need it to warm up, my hands are always cold and im in the 3rd day of being tooo angry to do nnnneneehththannnggg
fuck im tired.
fuck im tired.
Saturday
US REMAINS IMPOSSIBLE.
0. I do things sometimes just because i know i can get away with it.
1. I don't regret any of the poor choices i made, I just regret the after math i caused.
2. I love my job, I eat sleep and breathe my job these days. And i don't even kind of mind, What do i have other then money right now?
3. For the time being, I would rather be alone.
4. Im over it, But not even kind of close to being over it. Which is unexplainable sucky.
5. Hot showers after work, Train rides, Lucero, Dark Roast, annnd the way he watchs me. Thats it. Thats my life.
6. I love kathleen pearce and Simone Jarvis SO much. It's unreal.
7. Zach Sigwin and Adam Willett too.
8. I KNOW YOU, SO YOU KNOW ME, BUT US REMAINS IMPOSSIBLE
9. I KNOW YOU, SO YOU KNOW ME, BUT US REMAINS IMPOSSIBLE.
10. I KNOW YOU, SO YOU KNOW ME, BUT US REMAINS IMPOSSIBLE.
11. 6 packs of lucky, and boys that actually want to talk, I feel good about this.
12. Moving count down, less then a year.
13. sarah count down, like a week.
14. Turning 20 countdown, 20 minutes.
15. Some things never get easssyyyy.
16. Im not sad.
17. Im not that sad.
18. Im still kindaaaa sad.
19. Okay no im not that sad.
20. Matthew good, Your a god.
1. I don't regret any of the poor choices i made, I just regret the after math i caused.
2. I love my job, I eat sleep and breathe my job these days. And i don't even kind of mind, What do i have other then money right now?
3. For the time being, I would rather be alone.
4. Im over it, But not even kind of close to being over it. Which is unexplainable sucky.
5. Hot showers after work, Train rides, Lucero, Dark Roast, annnd the way he watchs me. Thats it. Thats my life.
6. I love kathleen pearce and Simone Jarvis SO much. It's unreal.
7. Zach Sigwin and Adam Willett too.
8. I KNOW YOU, SO YOU KNOW ME, BUT US REMAINS IMPOSSIBLE
9. I KNOW YOU, SO YOU KNOW ME, BUT US REMAINS IMPOSSIBLE.
10. I KNOW YOU, SO YOU KNOW ME, BUT US REMAINS IMPOSSIBLE.
11. 6 packs of lucky, and boys that actually want to talk, I feel good about this.
12. Moving count down, less then a year.
13. sarah count down, like a week.
14. Turning 20 countdown, 20 minutes.
15. Some things never get easssyyyy.
16. Im not sad.
17. Im not that sad.
18. Im still kindaaaa sad.
19. Okay no im not that sad.
20. Matthew good, Your a god.
Thursday
Us remains impossible.
I am in high sprits these days, Becoming a fan of sleep and Money again was the best choice i could have made, Im excited to chilllll with my friends tomorrow because i haven't seen anyone really since last saturday. Winter time antisocial kinda thing, you know?
Wednesday
I might give in and kiss you.
That bitch is one tough chick!
But wait -- What the fuck do i know, up until grade 6 i thought sex was touching your toes with someone and holding hands while sitting. Some girl i went to day home with told me that's what it was, And i of course in my normal nature blindly trusted. I should have known better, I remember her head looking like a potato, What is trustworthy about Mrs. Potato head? Nothing. Anyway this is all besides the point of what i feel like talking about tonight. I feel like talking about dun dun dun PEOPLE! And how fucking unbelievable they are. And i don't mean that in a good way. I guess sometimes a good way. I don't know how to put this in to words. I just wish i had a big book of why everyone i know did the things they did. I don't understand what motivates certain people to act the way they act. Myself included. I hate/love/hate human beings. Im feeling less sad today, Which is good.
Girls are fucking stupid, they build up all this bullshit in their minds like "oh maybe he is thinking about me, and oh he said that cause he really likes me, and he just isn't growen up enough for a relationship but if i stick around maybe he will like me" STOP THINKING LIKE THIS. If a boy treats you like shit, that is probably what you mean to him -- shit. Why do all females need to put themselves through this. Think about it, They aren't complicated. THIS is not that complicated, He fucked you because you were down, Thats it. This might not always be true, But this is the best way to keep myself from being a typical crazy "Why-won't-he-answer-me" kinda girl. It just makes you feel worse? Don't you think so? Don't you feel so much worse when your attempts get ignored and you just keep trying? Have some pride for yourself..
(This goes for girls and boys)
Sorry for all the ranting, I have been thinking alot.
But wait -- What the fuck do i know, up until grade 6 i thought sex was touching your toes with someone and holding hands while sitting. Some girl i went to day home with told me that's what it was, And i of course in my normal nature blindly trusted. I should have known better, I remember her head looking like a potato, What is trustworthy about Mrs. Potato head? Nothing. Anyway this is all besides the point of what i feel like talking about tonight. I feel like talking about dun dun dun PEOPLE! And how fucking unbelievable they are. And i don't mean that in a good way. I guess sometimes a good way. I don't know how to put this in to words. I just wish i had a big book of why everyone i know did the things they did. I don't understand what motivates certain people to act the way they act. Myself included. I hate/love/hate human beings. Im feeling less sad today, Which is good.
Girls are fucking stupid, they build up all this bullshit in their minds like "oh maybe he is thinking about me, and oh he said that cause he really likes me, and he just isn't growen up enough for a relationship but if i stick around maybe he will like me" STOP THINKING LIKE THIS. If a boy treats you like shit, that is probably what you mean to him -- shit. Why do all females need to put themselves through this. Think about it, They aren't complicated. THIS is not that complicated, He fucked you because you were down, Thats it. This might not always be true, But this is the best way to keep myself from being a typical crazy "Why-won't-he-answer-me" kinda girl. It just makes you feel worse? Don't you think so? Don't you feel so much worse when your attempts get ignored and you just keep trying? Have some pride for yourself..
(This goes for girls and boys)
Sorry for all the ranting, I have been thinking alot.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)