the downward spiral.
The rain woke me up that day, i remember because as soon as i rolled over and saw it i nailed a fleace blanket to my window. Drag myself back to bed and sleep the rest of the day. I must have slept more hours then awake at that time. Not that you could tell by the dark circles under my eyes and the ammount of whieght i shed. Job? What's a job. Friends? I forget what they look like. Romance?! HAH. I slipped again.. So it would seem. The air is getting thin. This is how you feel when you want things that are impossible. Like to live in the rain forest, or to float in space for an hour or so. I need to switch brains with someone.
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un.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”