Unhealthy distractions but distractions none the less. I did it to stay in control and it backfired in my face, As per usual. You cause me nothing but trouble, stop sleeping in my bed. I honestly have no idea what is going on and everything i have worked for has come undone within 2 weeks.. Enough about that though.
Today i got acupuncture again, And they put needles not only in my face-- but in my head. This is my life? HOW IS THIS MY LIFE. I need a serious vacay. Caause im losing my fucking mind, I can't even do my math puzzles because i can't chill down enough to figure them out.
Already November, Halloween was alot of fun this year, Mostly.. Simone, Kathleen and i got drunk, dress up as sailors and went to Kareem's house and there were alooot of people there. Alot of people that were less friendly and probably more sober then i.
Anyway, Right now im really in to Kathleen Simone Chantal and Ayla. And im not really in to you being a constant mind fuck even when you shouldn't be. But if there is nothing you can do, Why waste time thinking about it? Im glad i learnt that lesson.
People my age are already married and having babies (Already have babies) and have careers and lives and i can't even decide what to wear in the morning, Not that i want to get married or have babies (imangine me as a adult.. HAH, as if.) But money would be cool.
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un.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”