Cant. Deny.
Everything is constantly changing, And another huge one is coming. Recently Kathleen and i were forced to make a difficult choice before the situation itself became difficult. So here is whats up, January 1st Kathleen and i will no longer be living in bridgeland. Not really sure where both of us are going at this exact moment, But were not living calgary until September. I am going to try to move back in with my parents, Which will be weird because i haven't lived at home since i was 16. I feel like im at a stand still and can't really go anywhere with my life with all of these distractions, Though fun, Im seriously going nowhere. So, Move back in with my mom for 6 months, Save money, Do school, Get a licence(as if), Stop partying so much, Move to victoria, Be a adult. Im just really over everything that is my life. The stresses over the last two weeks have really fucked with me. With all this stuff, And with -- that. And THAT -- Might be okay, But needs to be taken with caution. I just can't listen to all this gossip, and everyone who thinks they know what's up when really you can't tell anyone what they should do. If everything i have decided in the last week backfires in my face, Then i guess i will go from there. Im just trying to make everything, EVERYTHING okay again. Change is coming, Brace yourself.
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un.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”