I am working on finding an appropriate way to explain my actions to those around me and (mainly) myself. Or not. I don't really know. I don't really know if i even care, which ultimately seems to be my main problem with life. I just do not give a fuck. Its comforting and depressing in one tightly wrapped bundle. Or maybe im just making situations in my head because i have a tendency to do such. Right, So i spend so much time preaching about all these qualities other people posses that i hate, and i keep thinking to myself i just need to find like minded people, and then i will be calm and balanced and content. This turns out to be bullshit. Because all those things you do that i can't stand, i do too. And when i find those people i dream for, i play games with them and im selfish. And the truth hurts, I am going to hell.
Okay just kidding, I am OBVIOUSLY being over dramatic, I just need to stop drinking and start thinking! know what im saayyyyennn?!?!
1. That wasn't a very good idea on my part --
2. Also not a good idea on my part...
3. HELP ME.
4. You seriously fucked with my head my friend.
5. Your so different and kind of mean now..
6. Your so different and i can't stand it
7. You are WONDERFUL.
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“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”