AHHH THE CUTEST SONG! Just the cutest...
Im everything i want to be and nothing at all at once. I think i just need to believe there is a reason i stay awake and over think at night when really it was like that before you and before that and before i made all those stupid mistakes with them. Looking for excuses and what it comes down too is i just don't sleep. Last night i had the realest dream. Two blankets. Four pillows. Black sheets. XL stolen t-shirts. Fall & winter always makes me so lonely, Even though i haven't been alone for a winter in three years, it's just so lonely.. and cold. And this one is going to be long for obvious reasons. I don't know. I like working early, Garden state soundtrack is my favorite thing. New realizations. A warm body isn't going to make me sleep at night because even when your there i lay awake. What the fuck is my problem with sleep?!
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un.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”