I was up all night looking for shapes in my celling, a balloon, two people folding in to each other, a dog. Did you know we use to have interests that didn't include drinking ourselves in to alcohol induced comas? I feel like in the last year or less or more i haven't really gotten better or worse just different. I don't know, I probably just think too much and should just go with it like everyone else.
Good:
I start work on wednesday. I have a school appointment on monday. For the first time since, I felt like we were friends. Not being angry. Haii hii..
Bad:
Money stresssesss.
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un.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”