Under pressure, Over dressed. The way you won't hold eye contact, the way your hands shake, The way i can see you watching me. Adding factors. Nothing changes. Everything changes. Sunday at work so far so slow, and for the last i don't know, 6 hours i have been just working it all out in my brain. Again and again and again. More things to rehearse.
The weekend is over, I'm kind of grateful just because its getting cold and i have no interest in being social during the winter or after the things that have just -- kinda fucked with me in the last two days. I don't know. Whiskey hangover for the second day in a row, i fucking hate the people who come in to my store and ask me if i know where something is, or how to get somewhere -- do i look like customer service?
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un.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”